Strangulated Beatoffs – Shake Your Dick

Strangulated Beatoffs – Shake Your Dick // Strangle Me (Firefighter Records) 1988. Man I can’t believe it took me so long to post something by these guys. One of the finest ensembles to ever come from my hometown of Saint Louis, the Beatoffs are Stan Seitrich from Drunks With Guns and Fritz Noble from White Suburban Youth. Now I never knew these guys personally but I used to know another member of Drunks and he used to supply me with early Beatoff records like Lick My Butthole and Practicing to be a Doctor, back in the late 1980s / early 1990s. It was all very similar to a lot of the weird noise shit that was coming out in the Midwest at the time, particularly on labels like Treehouse and AmRep up in Minneapolis but it also had a uniquely St Louis vibe to it. Stan and Fritz were both pretty big hermits. Definitely not “scenesters”. They liked to hang out at home, as depicted on this record cover, and be fucking prolific. Shit-talking hipsters (something there has always been a surplus of in St Louis) used to complain that the best thing about the Strangulated Beatoffs were their song titles. Granted song titles like Shake Your Dick and Beat Me With A Rumproast are pretty friggin’ awesome but the tunes man, the tunes! I mean for sensitive acoustic tunefulness about auto-erotic asphyxiation, you can’t do much better than Strangle Me. So once again, shit-talking hipsters FAIL. Change the channel to the Brady Bunch and shake your dick along with the Strangulated Beatoffs!

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11 Responses to Strangulated Beatoffs – Shake Your Dick

  1. mrpoopy says:

    You know anything about Whoppers Taste Good? A friend gave me that one about a year ago and the lead singer sounds suspiciously like the guy from a certain other notorious St. Louis band of similar dumbassitude who put out a demo that cheesed a lot of people off in the early 80′s (soon to be appearing at my place).

  2. Joe Stumble says:

    Yep…I saw whoppers about 10 times and I think played on a bill with them once. They were pretty great. The singer had a suit made out of budweiser beer cases. The singer wasn’t the guy you are thinking of. I’ll be interested to hear your take on that release.

  3. mrpoopy says:

    Well, I’ve been pissing people off as of late, but I’ll be gentle. I am a big proponent of “fakeness” and the ability to get a point across without hanging your hat on it or stepping up and saying “These things I believe!”, only to change your mind a few years later and get stuck looking like a douchebag. It gives you more control of the situation, the ability to reinvent the vehicle or just walk away. You should post that Whoppers stuff.

  4. Joe says:

    You, pissing people off? inconceivable.

    Good story about Whoppers for you. Me and a friend and our two cute little new wave girlfriends heard about a party one night in the late 80s and decided to go crash it. We got there and it was all these “older dudes”; the guys in Whoppers and Ultraman hanging out drinking beers on the couch. They ask us if we like Doggy Style and we all started raving about how much we love Doggy Style….being the suburban skate dorks that we were at the time we assumed they meant the band that did “Donut Shop Rock”. So the Whoppers guys say, “hold up..we were just watching a doggy style video” and they rewind the videotape, hit play, and our skate betty girlfriends get to see (for the first and hopefully only time in their lives) a chick FUCKING A DOG. The Whoppers guys and the Ultramen all started laughing uproariously and the girls wanted to leave right away so we all left. The ride home was unpleasant. Good times. Good times.

    Whoppers is available here:

    They had a second single called “Haunting White Castles” which was more of a novelty. Still pretty good though. I lost it at some point. Can’t find it on the web.

  5. idontlikeit says:

    i love it! the beatoffs just played a great set at apop on RSD 2010, bringing all of their friends. entertaining on so many levels.

  6. mrpoopy says:

    The sad part is I probably own the same video. Need a copy?

  7. Patrick Sands says:

    Like the sound of the recording…..these guys had to have listened to some 60s Mothers of Invention records somewhere along the way.

  8. St. Louis Lookin' Dude says:

    @Patrick Sands- Yeah, isn’t “Shake Yr Dick” based closely on a Beefheart song? I can hear it in my head but can’t remember what the original lyrics are.

  9. Q*Bert says:

    Awesome post. If you dig the slight ’60s vibe on this Beatoffs classic, be sure to track down the Fruitcake single that came out on Skin Graft. It’s a little more conventional than the Beatoffs, but of course well warped beyond any other ’60s-influenced band you’ll ever hear. Check it out here:

  10. elliott says:

    haha good record. i love whoppers taste good. actually a very funny story at least to me about the wtg guys. i know people like that. i have the don’t they 7 but would love to hear more awesome beer metal.

  11. Joe says:

    @Q*Bert – I checked out your writeup on Fruitcake. I actually am the guy that introduced Mike Deleon to their drummer John Coker and was around during their formation. Although the Butthole comparisons are spot-on, Mike was really obsessed at that time by Skullflower. If you ever heard the Fruitcake song Stan, it is about Stan Seitrich who is in Strangulated Beatoffs. Also, the info you link to on I Heart Noise is loaded with inaccuracies.

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