Helios Creed – X Rated Fairy Tales (Subterranean Records) 1985. When I was 20, I ingested waaaay too many lysergic chemicals and listened to way too many Helios Creed albums. X-Rated Fairytales was considered one of his “worst” back then. The Am-Rep stuff was generally easier to locate than the two records on Subterranean and the consensus was that if you were to search out the Subterranean stuff it would be best to find Superior Catholic Finger instead.
Y’see in those heady early-90′s days of grunge….the first Helios Creed album suffered from the taint of New Wave. I remember we actually used to complain about the keyboards on it. Because as we all knew then, keyboards detracted from the authenticity of ROCK!
You couldn’t really blame us. Despite what VH1 is currently trying to sell you, the 1980′s were actually a vaccuous wasteland of Phil Collins-styled hellish torment. It all started well enough with the initial first wave of rap and post-punk experimentalism whathaveyou. But as popular culture got its grubby hands on the medium to market goods to young people (pop music), the decade became increasingly oppressive and fake.
On the other end of the spectrum you had Hardcore Punk shoving its version of cold hard reality down your throat followed by Alternative which as we all know eventually got co-opted by the dark forces in the 1990′s. In the “striving for authenticity in the age of fakeness” era between post-punk and Nirvana (1985-1991), keyboards were just a no-no.
Now however, we live in the enlightened post-modern era. The anti-keyboard rhetoric of the late-1980′s seems very er….silly. And after sitting through the latest 20th-generation-Pearl Jam clone band on your local “modern rock” station, grunting its way through another bodice-ripping angstfest, keyboards now sound kinda…er, cool.
Anyway….anyone with half a brain can tell you that X-Rated Fairytales is not a new wave album at all. Its a Cock-Rock Album from the Planet Bizarro. Shit! Listen to “The Descent”. You know what that sounds like? Pylon? Fuck no. Aldo Nova baby. It sounds like Aldo Nova on fucking ACID. You think I’m shitting you?
How about the title song “X-Rated Fairy Tales”? BPeople maybe? fuck no…it sounds like “Dust in the Wind”. “Dust in the Wind” ON FUCKING ACID. “Johnny”? Who knows what “Johnny” sounds like. Who cares? Its soooo friggin dorky its brilliant.
Y’see, Helios Creed’s later stature as “legitimate guitarist who must be taken seriously” as well as his prior status as “co-architect of Chrome” robs us of the ability to enjoy the campy pleasures of X-Rated Farytales, which is best if not taken too seriously.
X-Rated Fairy Tales
Sex Voodoo Venus
By the way…the two Subterranean albums by Helios Creed (X-Rated Fairytales and Superior Catholic Finger) were released a few years ago as one disk on Cleopatra. I believe it is out of print but there are a bunch of used ones floating around on the internet. The cover sucks though.